Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
