You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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