Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So vagazzling was a success
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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