respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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