i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
