I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
