I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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