Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize