Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
