finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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