hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
