awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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