we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
