I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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