she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
