woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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