I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
