The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
