she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
