This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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