My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize