no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
