I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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