You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
she smelled like a LAN party
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
