:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
