"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
