Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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