She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
