do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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