then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
