3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
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