sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
