you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
