I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
