My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
