Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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