"it" just moved
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
