is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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