I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
