no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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