I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
