She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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