Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
