STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
