Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry fatherfigure hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(918): View more from Oklahoma

New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?

Fav 17 5666 1502
share tweet
(216): View more from Ohio

Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations

Fav 18 5637 965
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(270): View more from Kentucky

truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.

Fav 7 1891 963
share tweet
(213): View more from California

Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch

Fav 8 2605 1090
share tweet
(330): View more from Ohio

It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.

Fav 4 2267 1019
share tweet
(307): View more from Wyoming

The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.

Fav 2 1450 814
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(561): View more from Florida

I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?

Fav 10 1126 1490
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(540): View more from Virginia

The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship

Fav 1 805 499
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(901): View more from Tennessee

We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?

Fav 0 21 46
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT