Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
that is very illegal...i love you.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
And then he peed in my hair
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