you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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