ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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