She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
When did angry sex become our thing?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
