We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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