Barsexuality is the new black.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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