it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
