wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
