the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
