i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
