it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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